Nevermind PJ O'Rourke, its The Hatemongers Quarterly

This is perhaps the most vicious piece of satire on college professors I've read in a long time:

“The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Official Academics Against Remote Oppression that in No Way Affects Them Manifesto (THMQOAAROTINWATM):

We, the undersigned, are deeply troubled by manifold injustices: Capitalism, democracy, &c. Yet we wish to announce that we are untroubled by various issues that would normally trouble such beacons of “social justice” as ourselves.

We hereby declare that the following things do not in any way bother us:

1. The fact that numerous professors at our universities are offered starvation wages and no health-care. As long as they teach the classes we don’t want to bother with, that’s fine by us.
2. The fact that our graduate students live in abject poverty. As long as they teach the classes we don’t want to bother with, that’s fine by us.
3. The fact that our parking spots are far, far better than those held by lowly service employees. Sure, we’re Marxists and all, but we don’t want to take this “fairness” stuff too far.
4. The fact that some students want a balanced liberal arts education, instead of four years of left-wing agitprop.

This is just a taste: read the whole thing.

I'm going to make a copy and put it surreptitously on the door of my favorite Marxist librarian.

UPDATE: Macktastic Rusy Wicked (aka Herr Doktor Professor Schackleford IV) poses the following dare:

PS-I would pay to see Steve put this up on his office door!

Let me get this straight: you would PAY to see this up on my DOOR?!?!?! No problemo, my friend---let me bring in the spycamera on Friday.

The real question is, to put your pimpafied money where your mouth is, how much would you pay to see me introduce this into a motion before our Faculty Senate during a faculty meeting? (Proof of life in the minutes, as witnessed by Chai-Rista?) As Judge Smails would say, "Wellllllllllllllll?"

Posted by Steve at October 20, 2004 03:09 PM | TrackBack