I guess that would make Al Gore the one-eyed guy with the monkey

This bit in the Telegraph is priceless:

Watching Mr Kerry try to take on Mr Bush brings to mind a classic moment in that cult film of the 1980s, Raiders of the Lost Ark. Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones is trapped in a back-alley in an Egyptian souk.

A crowd closes in as a giant Arab steps forward wielding a scimitar. Snick-snack it goes through the air, faster and faster. The audience tenses. Indie shudders.

Then he draws a pistol from his belt and shoots the Arab in the forehead. Game over. The crowd drifts away.

Such is America's polarisation that the crowd enveloping the two presidential candidates is not yet drifting away. But, notwithstanding his own twists over Iraq, Mr Bush plays a convincing straight shooter. His pistol is already drawn and all the while Mr Kerry seems happier whirling a scimitar than reaching for a gun.

The whole article is both hilarious and insightful.