Things that sound naughty but aren't

One thing I hate about living the ruburban life (the rural suburbs that is) is that, well, you get neighbors, and, well, they think it's somehow okay to invite you over to their house for a "party" where they are trying to sell some useless crap, whether it be "I can't figure out how to use the microwave" [aka Pampered Chef] or "My soul is so devoid of meaning that I smoke glue sticks for release" [aka Creative Memories] or "I want to look like Satan's minions" [aka "New Skin"]. I mean, at some points I've been truly tempted to put little flyers in the mailboxes of the neighbors advertising "INCREDIBLE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY TO FILL YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND HELP YOU FIND JESUS! It's the Lagos Jerusalem DaVinci Code Secret Pyramid of Power and Love---and it's Atkins Friendly!" Usually, my wife intercepts me on the way to Kinkos and, lovingly, lowers my sugar and caffene intake and everythings hunky dory again in a day or two.

Well now.

So this just popped into my mail box and it might just be too priceless an opportunity to pass up:

Dear Sir Are you interested in being an exclusive distributor for HYS shuttlecock in your country? If you are, please reply, and also log on to www.hys-shuttlecock.com for product information. Regards John Doe Manager, Sales and Marketing

BTW, the John Doe part is priceless.