This just in

Apparently Georgia is about to go to war with Russia.

Okay, I could understand if they were deciding to conquer those arsewipes in Alabama, but Russia.......

(Seriously folks, I'll be here in the Jungle Room Lounge all week--be sure to tip your waitresses)

UPDATE:

Other punch lines:

"Wow, I heard the ACC is expanding into the Big East, but not THAT far East...."

"Gee, I heard Zell Miller was one pissed of 'muther, but geez-louise!"

"Jimmah finally figured out CCCP stood for Carter's Crappy C-------er Peanuts"

"Buford Pusser is back, and this time he's REALLY mad!"

"It's all about the peanut OOOOOOOOIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!"

"Russia? Russia? He owes me money!"

Last, and probably least

"John Bell Hood could've kicked Napoleon's ass!"