August 17, 2004

Who's the biggest punk of the Olympics?

Sure, it's only been three days, but I think it's time to open nominations for the official "Llamabutchers Gold Medal Olympic Punk."

The categories are male athlete, female athlete, promoter/agent, and sportswriter/broadcaster.

We'll have medals for the first and second week, and then a special bonus round for the OVERALL Olympic punks.

By punks, of course, I mean a special combination of surliness, boorishness, and bad behavior. DQ'ed as anything that's the result of really charged up people doing something in the heat of the moment: this is the Olympics, folks, and only world class punk-ness counts for a medal. Remember, you don't win silver in the Olympic Punk Contest---you lose gold!

So without further ado, here's my nominations so far: feel free to leave your nominations in the comments section, or by proxy on your blog (be sure to send me the link). Results will be announced Sunday, with suitable Llama-style snarkiness.

Steve's nominees:

Male Olympic Punk:

Allen Iverson, for giving standard NBA blase "where be my bitches?" excuses for getting their asses handed to them by Puerto Rico, which isn't even a separate country.

Gary Hall Jr., for all-around lifetime achievement as a punk, and for pulling an Achilles and sulking in his tent because he didn't get on the relay team.

Ian Thorpe, for claiming the mantel of best swimmer in the world while only swimming the freestyle. Dolphin kick this, you Aussie pantload.

Female Olympic Punk:

So far, this one is open---suggestions?

Agent/Coach Punk:

Whomever is responsible for the all-Phelps, all the time madness. Just stop it. Not his fault--he's holding up well. But jeez-louise, no!

Broadcaster/Journalist Olympic Punk:

The Washington Post sportswriter (I'll have to dig up the piece later) who tried to link America losing the 4X100 swim relay to Abu Grahib. Dick.

Special Achievement Olympic Punk medal will go to the Athens organizers who bitched and moaned eight years ago about how dreadfully tacky and crowded the Atlanta Games were (guilty on both counts), and proceeded to develop and put on an elegantly unfinished and empty set of games. Way to go, guys!

I know I speak for many Americans when I say my heart is hanging out there for the real dream team: go Iraqi Soccer!!!!

Posted by Steve at August 17, 2004 09:58 PM | TrackBack

I can't find a link, but I heard about a German woman runner? who wanted her friend to be on the team but wasn't and when she crossed the finish line she gave her coaches a rather rude gesture. Actually, I kind of like that...

Posted by: Misspent Life at August 17, 2004 11:38 PM

Allen Iverson should get a special life-time-achievement Olympic punk award.

Posted by: Beck at August 18, 2004 03:03 PM

can we have a "nation-punk" category, for general national poor behavior? granted, this year iran has that one pretty much in the bag for the whole judo thing, but i'm sure that level of bad behavior deserves some sort of special recognition.

Posted by: francisthegreat at August 18, 2004 04:54 PM
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