May 31, 2005

I'm Steve the LLamabutcher, and I need your help

First, let me start this strange posting by congratulating a real blogger on a big traffic milestone. If I know Bill, though (what from all our snippy/snappy emailing back and forth over the last year and a half) what really matters was the big item from Howie Kurtz crediting INDC Journal for pointing out a slanted pro-Newsweek item in the Post. Way to go, hombre!

And by "real" blogger I mean compared to the LLamas---overeducated pseudo-hacks with itchy fingers on the Photoshop trigger.

That leads me to the real point of this post: we need your help on an important project vital to preserving the very fabric of the Republic!

The TLLB ecosystem is long popular because it gives us what we all desired back in high school: a precise, scientific basis to daily tabulate popularity. It is the ultimate tool in the hands of our inner "Farmer Ted". (Wait, maybe I should rephrase that)

Anyhoo, as many have long known, the TLLB is, how do you say in your language? ah, yes, quirky. It's been known to bounce you around like the proverbial Samsonite in the hands of a orangutan. Unexpected climbs followed by a whipsaw down coupled with periods of unexplained obscurity. Actually, a lot like High School, now that you mention it. All the cool kids follow technorati, they say, or the TLLB traffic monitors.

Yet, there it is, and what are you gonna do?

Anyhoo, here's where we need your help:


It's long been our goal to get on top of Wonkette. Being underneath Wonkette briefly on Saturday was quite a bit of fun, but let's face it, we're guys, we're Republicans, we're Americans---we don't settle for the undercard.

So here's what we need: link this post. Sixteen measley links for a lifetime of memories. It's pathetic---but then again, we're admitting that upfront. Think of it as a Victory for all those Farmer Ted's out there and a defeat to the "cool" people everywhere! Your links can help us out this last little bit! Down with the Gawker Empire! Up with People! I realize we have to step on John Hawkins for this, but dammit, man, think of the children! If you are fed up with the whole Panties-in-a-wad-Sully/Wonkette/TPM/Willis Axis of soft-core liberal schmooze, link this post! Send a shiver down the spine of media elites everywhere!

And if you want to throw in some chump change to the Tasty Bits Sack (TM) to help defray the cost of latex and penicillin, then feel free.

wonkette and llama.jpg
Help us reach this lifetime goal!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Robert the LLamabutcher had nothing to do with the making of this desperate piece of link-whoremongering!

UPDATE from Steve: I kind of feel like I'm at the end of an NC-17 Version of It's a Wonderful Life.....


WE....ARE THE CHAMPIONS....MY FRIEND....power chords here

As sure a sign of The End Of Days (TM) as any:

end of days.jpg


Phin, step back from the photoshop and no one will get hurt!

Posted by Steve at May 31, 2005 10:30 AM

Unfortunately, the TTLB is nutty again, only in the opposite direction. You're now a couple of hundred links away from mounting Wonkette.

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at May 31, 2005 12:13 PM

Looks like Wonkette has some unsightly sweat marks around the armpits in that picture, no? But you, Steve, look very sharp.

Good luck with the link project!

Posted by: RP at May 31, 2005 02:50 PM

No, I'm not helping you.

Posted by: Bill from IND at May 31, 2005 03:55 PM

Maybe Wonkette got all hot and bothered just being beside Steve. Image her reaction when he climbs on top of her.

Posted by: phin at May 31, 2005 06:01 PM

Wow, you are more popular than "page not found"! Impressive!

Posted by: lemuel kolkava at May 31, 2005 07:39 PM

Yeah you managed to get on top of Wonkette, but only with all those nerds in between.

Posted by: George at June 1, 2005 11:33 PM

Getting atop Wonkette, now there is a worthy goal. I wonder if she knew your post was coming, and whether her expression is a grimace or wry grin?

Posted by: NOTR at June 4, 2005 10:34 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?