April 21, 2005
This Is What Happens When I Don't Get Enough Sleep
Yawn. Most nights, the three year old sleeps as soundly as the proverbial log. But every now and again, she'll appear in our room in the middle of the night, demanding to sleep with us. After her third appearance last night, we finally relented.
Unfortunately, it is at times like these that the girl seems to have six elbows instead of the regulation two. Also, her wheezing and snoring makes her sound like Darth Vader might after he forgot to clean out his air filter for a couple of days.
Speaking of Vader, after watching Return of the Jedi for no particular reason last night, I've got a few questions for all those Star Wars aficianados geeks out there:
Sure, the Emperor cops it and Death Star II goes kablooie. But what about the rest of the Imperial fleet? Do they surrender like the Wicked Witch of the West's castle guards? Or do they run away?
And how about the other Imperial fleets? And all the legions and garrisons scattered all over the galaxy? And the bureaucracy? There must be dozens of regional governors left, even after Tarkin got whacked. Not to mention all their staff, civil servants, toadies, etc., all of whom are out of a job if the Empire collapses.
Also, if the Imperial government suddenly is left without a head, creating an enormous power vacuum, wouldn't, say, the Satrap of the Whatever Sector start making a play for control just as soon as word of the Emperor's demise got out? On the other hand, wouldn't others start clamoring for immediate reinstitution of the Senate? And wouldn't that set off the whole round of bickering that led to its collapse to begin with?
We'll never know, because all we get at the conclusion of ROTJ is thirty seconds of people dancing in the street on various planets. It was bad enough when confined to the Forest Moon, scene of the local battle, but this is ridiculous. As I recall, Lucas' original plan had been to make nine movies altogether, the last three being devoted to the story of the restoration of the Republic. By making the celebration pan-galactic in the touched up version of ROTJ, it seems to me he is conceding that this plan is never going to come to fruition and that we should take the restoration as read. Especially after devoting three entire movies to the collapse of the original Republic and the rise of the Empire, this seems terribly lopsided. The least he could have done is scroll some epilogue language across the screen, you know, "Many dark days were left before the peace of the Old Republic was fully restored, but thanks to the redemption of the Skywalkers, that restoration was never again in doubt....."
Just sayin'.
UPDATE: Ooooookay. No geeks here. Nosiree! Let me just ask you guys a follow-up question: Is there any kind of sanctioning process for all these various novels, stories, characters, etc.? Do the authors and designers get the Official Lucas Stamp of Approval? Or is it just a free-for-all? Or is there a recognized orthodoxy with a whole lot o' apochrypha on the side?
And what happens when two different people try to take the timeline in two different directions? Do they slice Chewie in half? Or arrange an alternate visitation schedule?
Posted by Robert at April 21, 2005 08:45 AMThat would make too much sense.
Posted by: Any A. Mouse at April 21, 2005 08:51 AM
I myself would support any strongman who promised me a genocidal war against the Ewoks.
Good Lord, man!
Leave it alone and step back from the DVD.
Don't even 1) hint that you want three more movies from Lucas and 2) think that Lucas can handle any Asimov-style galactic political intrigue a la Foundation.
Unless of course you're the kind of guy who would sit around a Denny's after the show and discuss how the Trade Federation represents the globalization forces on the Third World into the wee hours of the morning.
You know that there's a huge amount of fiction set in that time period, right?
And, yes, having Lucas film galactic level political deal making would force me to buy a gallon of paint so I could watch it dry. But maybe he could deal with a story like Rogue Squadron.
Posted by: Owlish at April 21, 2005 12:17 PMI highly recommend the "Heirs of the Empire" Trilogy written by Timothy Zahn. If Lucas had a lick of sense he would use those as the screenplays for Episodes VII, VIII, and IX and let someone else direct them.
But, of course, he doesn't.
Posted by: BWS at April 21, 2005 12:34 PMI agree with BWS...Lucas should use the Zahn trilogy if he plans to go forward with another STAR WARS trilogy...very well written...
As I understand it, there is a Lucas Stamp of Approval for the novels...how serious it is or what the process is like, I have no idea...but you'll notice very few continuity problems with the SW novels...especially when compared to Trek novels...
Posted by: Matt Hurley at April 21, 2005 12:55 PMI'm just speculating here, but I bet getting the Star Wars™ imprint on your book involves a wheelbarrow of cash laid at Lucas' feet.
It seems like any jackass marketer can do a tie-in with SW paraphenelia. Take my "Mos Eisley Canteena" waterbong, for example.
Posted by: Gordon at April 21, 2005 01:20 PMI agree, the trilogy by Timothy Zahn is worth reading. And some of the stuff in the universe isn't worth it. I doubt Lucas has to give direct approval for every book, but it isn't a free-for-all.
The problem with using that trilogy as the next Star Wars movies is that Luke, Han, Leia, and everyone else from the original movie are the main characters in the books. I think that might interfere with the movie itself.
Posted by: owlish at April 21, 2005 02:08 PMFrom what I understand, Lucasarts does approve all of the novels regarding the Expanded Universe. It may not be good ol' George himself that reads and approves them, but there is a committee of lackeys that ensures that everything fits and that some authors don't go off the reservation by obsessing about Princess Leia's metal bikini ;)
As far as what the continuity, what one writer puts down in ink, the next writer has to follow. It's sort of like a chain story in that respect.
Chewie does bite it at some point, but I don't think he gets cut in half ;)
Posted by: Kathy at April 21, 2005 02:20 PMThe husband adds this: "In fact, in almost every one of these novels in the acknowledgements the people on that team are thanked for their help in making sure that everything fits. As well as the people who created other works from which the author draws, keeping the Expanded Universe whole."
Yes, I married a dork. I know this already.
Posted by: Kathy at April 21, 2005 02:23 PMThe rumour I heard about the whole nine part 3 trilogies thing was that they were all to involve on C3P0 and R2D2; Luke, et al., were only to be main characters for one trilogy.
Posted by: RobertJ at April 21, 2005 02:49 PMColossus, I'm with you. My idea for dealing with Ewoks is involves strafing runs - lots of strafing runs.
And napalm, a whole lotta napalm.
The Truce at/of Bakula is set immediately after ROTJ, if you want to know that.
Oh, and the Ewoks? What do you think happens when a big spaceship the size of a small moon explodes in low orbit over a planet? If it was reduced to dust, Endor would be covered in radioactive metal dust. If some large pieces survived, the velocity from the explosion would cause something like a meteor on the surface. Remember, when our heroes look up, they see the explosion, so it is on their side of the planet. We know from the books that some ewoks were not there when that happened, but we can be pretty sure that the rest of them died. Maybe that little tribe got off, in gratitude for the help they gave.
Posted by: TheRoyalFamily at April 21, 2005 04:09 PM
