March 29, 2005
How You Doin'?
Someone googled in here a while ago looking for "blog swingers".
S'funny. From time to time I've discussed the concept of infidelity with some of my married male friends. We typically go through all of the obviously correct reasons of love, morality and philosophy as to why this is such a bad idea, but eventually, we always seem to get down to a really practical objection as well:
Who the hell has the energy for that sort of thing? By the time I get done with a full day of work, I've got just about enough reserve left to get myself home, help put the Llama-ettes down and actually spend some time with the Missus before dozing off over a book after the first three or four paragraphs. The idea of having to lavish attention on someone else - even if it were with the full connivance of the Missus - frankly drains me.
However, I used to have an idea for a baby-swapping party. As people come in, they place their baby's pacifier in a big bowl by the front door. At the end of the evening, they draw a pacifier at random from the bowl and take home whichever baby goes with it. This used to occur to me most often when one of my own was cooking off and had to be dealt with. I'm happy to say that they're all old enough now that "go away" is an acceptable parental command, so I no longer have to take on somebody else's burden in order to get rid of mine.
Speaking of swinging, the Demystifying Divas - Kathy, Silk, Feisty Christina and Sadie - today tackle the issue of whether men respect women who put out too soon.
Um, that'd be no. The trouble is that men often don't even think of this until after the fact when it is, of course, too late from the woman's point of view.
I'm one of those weird people (and there are many of us!) who sees monogamy as a choice, and not the natural state of affairs. This is OBVIOUSLY not the case for everybody - so I'm not making any blanket statements. But for me, it's not natural, and takes a conscious effort.
I have never cheated on anyone in my life, because I'm really loyal, and steadfast (to add to the contradictions in my personality), but I'm not kidding myself. It's tough. It's not an easy choice.
For me.
I love the Demystifying Divas, by the way ... Thanks for pointing me in their direction. They're a lot of fun.
Posted by: red at March 29, 2005 02:22 PMI could go for the swinging thang...the baby swinging thang, that is.
Thanks!
; )
Posted by: Christina at March 29, 2005 02:49 PMIt might also be pointed that many men rank "Respect" far below "Easy Sex". Not me, mind you, but as my wife likes to tell me, "Men are pigs." Maybe rabbits is more accurate?
Posted by: Paladin at March 29, 2005 02:51 PM
Mrs. Colossus shoots a 9mm darn near as well as I do. While this is certainly not the only thing that pops into my head when the subject comes up in conversation (never in reality, mind you), it certainly ranks among the first considerations.
I remember telling a young co-worker that after the initial bloom of the sex wears off what you are really left with is a business partner for the rest of your life (at this point we had two young children so I know of where I speak). I went on to explain that probably the worst thing you could do is cheat on your business partner as you were really cheating on your own business... Once his eyes stopped bugging out of his head, we finished our lunch!
Posted by: babs at March 29, 2005 07:40 PMWhen I was married, I had plenty of opportunities to cheat, but here's the thing. When I said "I do" that was short for "I do you, and nobody else." Of course, when he said "I do" he meant "I do anyone I can get in bed with!"
Posted by: Katty at March 29, 2005 08:08 PMI would never, ever cheat.
Unless she was really hot. Or I thought I could get away with it.
Otherwise, never.
Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer at March 29, 2005 11:08 PM
