March 10, 2005

Most Appropriate Headline Ever

Star Wars Goes To Hell

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. We knew that a few years ago.

{...}"[The film] {ed.---Episode Three} is much more dark...more emotional. It's much more of a tragedy. My feeling is that it will probably be a PG-13, so it will be the first 'Star Wars' that's a PG-13."

And, gee, here I was expecting an "R" rating.

In true Ron Popeil fashion, ...but wait...there's more!

{...}And that's fine with Lucas. "I could pull it back a little bit, but I don't really want to," he says.

And Lucas says he isn't bothered by the withering reviews critics gave episodes one and two. "Actually, I am very happy," he says. "I'm very pleased with the whole thing."

{Insert sound of Kathy repeatedly slamming her head on her desk here}

Posted by Kathy at March 10, 2005 02:31 PM

I may have to extend the "MP Rule" to the big screen and wait for Episode III to come out on cable. The "MP Rule" arose from the two hour "Melrose Place" special about nine or ten years ago. After suffering through it, I decided I would not watch anything where I could write dialogue or plot as good or better than what was on the screen.

Posted by: LMC at March 10, 2005 02:54 PM

A great deal stems from Expectations. Because Episodes 4-6 were so good, we expected 1 and 2 to carry on in that tradition, so when they blew massive chunks, it hurt more than it normally would.

Lucas has just grown fat and lazy. (Figuratively, aww, you knew that.)

Posted by: Paladin at March 10, 2005 04:34 PM

Because Episodes 4-6 were so good

Really? "Return of the Jedi"? No I was disappointed because I was hoping with episode I that Lucas would make up for the Ewoks.

I guess that he did make me forget about he idiocy of the Ewoks, but he did it by sticking his audience with Jar-Jar. Episode II was a mild improvement, but it could have been much better if Jar-Jar had accidently fallen from his platform in the Senate! Now that would have gone a long way in redeeming the series. Especially if he had landed on a bunch of Ewoks.

I hold out a little hope for episode III as we'll see the wooden performance of Hayden Christensen replaced with a lump of plastic and the voice of James Earl Jones, hopefully right after the prologue crawl exits the screen.

Posted by: kbiel at March 10, 2005 04:47 PM

The way Hayden Christensen plays Anakin, I do believe his turn to the dark side will ultimately be the result of a teenage temper tantrum. All that whining in Episode II---But I'm better than most of the other Jedi's. Why do I have to play with them?---got really annoying, really fast.

And yes, I do wish I was joking.

Posted by: Kathy at March 10, 2005 05:09 PM

So, I'm confused. I thought we were all suppossed to shut up and love Jar-jar because, really, Star Wars films are kids' movies at heart; it only looks stupid to you beccause you're really much older than the target audience.

Now, we have one coming out with a rating that will prohibit that suppossed target audience from entering the theater. Come again? Is it still going to have Jar-jar? So, what we've got is an episode of telletubbies directed by Quentin Tarantino. Sounds fantastic.

Posted by: francisthegreat at March 10, 2005 06:57 PM

Anyone even cares about this???

Posted by: babs at March 10, 2005 07:05 PM

Was episode IV really targetted at kids? George Lucas claimed it was, but does a PG rating really for the Barney audience? I was a kid when IV and V were released. Neither of those had characters or story lines better suited for The Wiggles and yet I was able to enjoy it as did my parents. Lucas is more than welcome to continue to make kid movies and adults have the right to childishly make fun of him for doing so.

Posted by: kbiel at March 10, 2005 07:09 PM

"Episode II was a mild improvement, but it could have been much better if Jar-Jar had accidently fallen from his platform in the Senate! Now that would have gone a long way in redeeming the series. Especially if he had landed on a bunch of Ewoks."

Now that would have been cool.

Lucas is surrounded by yes-men, and it shows.

Posted by: Joe R. the Unabrewer at March 10, 2005 09:48 PM

Or if, instead of light sabers, the Jedi used Ewoks to attack each other. As soon as an Ewok is a bloody pulp, throw it on the pile and get another one.
Episode II was such a piece of f'ing shite that III has nowhere to go but up. I only watched it on DVD, and even then only got about 45 minutes of the way through. I lasted longer through Air America.

Posted by: RobertJ at March 11, 2005 03:38 PM

I saw episodes 4 thru 6 and well cant you ever forget that DARTH VADER was lukes father and well he was leas father as well so when vader cut off lukes hand wasnt that child abuse?

Posted by: lonesome loon at March 12, 2005 09:47 AM
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