February 25, 2005
The best lede of all time
This HAS to be a finalist.
I mean, if you could set that to music... and have Waylon Jennings sing it... I smell gold.....GOLD I say! GOLD!
Of course, the title would have to be something like "The Ballad of Peg-Legged Pete"
Posted by Steve at February 25, 2005 01:05 PMOf course, since Waylon's already passed, we could get his boy Shooter to sing it instead (he's pretty much got his daddy's pipes...) -- unless of course you were meaning to invoke some of that necro-techno-voodoo that lets Steve McQueen sell cars and Fred Astaire vacuum cleaners...
Posted by: LDH at February 25, 2005 01:27 PMAmy should be afraid for you, but that's exactly what I was going for------The Voodoo Waylons, btw, would be an excellent name for a punk country band.
Posted by: Steve the LB at February 25, 2005 01:47 PM
Still can't top the legendary 1983 New York Post lede,
"Headless Body in Topless Bar."
I mean -- what could possibly top that?
Thre only -- ONLY -- possibility is the infamous Boston Globe photo caption "More Mush From the Wimp" which ran, naturally, under a pic of Jimmy Carter.
But that being said -- still funny.
I've already composed it, with a bit of a bluegrass flavor (I have a mandolin in my office)...so, if you're able to pass on the voodoo Waylons, think about a river in Georgia...
He gave me a cup
‘n I started to pee
He checked my short arm,
But that wasn’t really me
When a man stares you down
When you’re tryin’ to go
It gives you stage fright
You’re the star of his show
I started to get
A suspicious mind
I saw a gleam in his eye,
But he wasn’t my kind
I rolled up my sleeve
My tattoo said, “Beth”
I'm not into guys
Just give me my meth
I don’t really know
How I got in the mix
But I dropped down my trou
And showed him both d****
Now they won't take my blood
jailed for 72 hours
I made some new friends
but I didn't get no flowers.
Copyright Vic Barry 2005 (yeah, like anyone's going to nick those lyrics...)
