Get Me The Nuns - STAT!

My real-world pal Marjorie the Unclimber stumbles across a horrid, horrid idea for a girls' birthday party (well, I suppose it would be worse for boys, but you know what I mean).

This tarting up of little girls is a phenomenon that utterly mystifies me. A year or two ago, my eldest participated in a dance recital. She was in a traditional ballet class and, along with her mates, looked suitably adorable - and innocent - in leotard and tutu. But the school also offered classes in what it called "modern dance". These groups gave their performances at the same recital. All of the girls - in ages ranging from 4 or 5 up to around 15 or so - were dressed like, for lack of a better word, prostitutes. The dance numbers consisted of various wild (and very suggestive) gyrations to the accompaniment of what I can only describe as "techno-rap". And on top of that, their parents, far from dropping their jaws in horror, were cheering them on with shouts of "shake it!" and "you go, girl!"

I mean, fer cryin' out loud, what's WRONG with these people?