The surest way to ensure they are not Catholics is to send them to Catholic school. Kind of like the safest place to be in a war is in the middle of an army. Or something like that.

If they are past the age of reason (age 7, let's say) it's not something you could really make them do, even if you wanted to. If you ain't Catholic by age 7, only some hard life experiences can make you turn Catholic. The kind of life experiences you don't wish on anyone.

Or the other route -- they fall in love with a Catholic girl who won't get married outside the church. I have two brothers in law who became Catholic because of my sisters. I am reminded of the words of Henry of Navarre, who had to convert in order to become King Henri IV of France -- "Paris is worth a mass."

Cynical? Perhaps a little. But God works in mysterious ways. My brothers in law are both surprisingly devout men; neither were very good Protestants but they have over time become very good Catholics. Better Catholics than the cynical old Colossus.

And on the Yankee thing, well I am just dumbfounded. Wouldn't wish that fate on anyone.

I myself am a fan of the World Champion Boston Red Sox.

The sweetest words in the English language, those.

the Missus must have had your Roman sympathies and the coming trip to Virginia Beach in mind. She made me promise not to try to convert your oldest when I agreed to be Da' Godfather. But, as you know, Rome is always accepting applications. If you take the plunge, you will have the benefit of being in the most conservative diocese in America where the theme is: "we do not water it down and if you don't like it, hit the road."