Gratuitous Domestic Posting (TM) - Must. Kill. The Child. Dept.

I was quietly reading the paper before dinner yesterday evening when my two year old came bounding in and insisted on climbing up into my lap. As usually happens on these occassions, we began to play a game in which my hand is a tickle monster and she tries to convince it to attack me instead of her. "Oh, Mister! Mister!" she says, looking at it and pointing at me. In the game, I always turn my hand towards my face and then slowly back around towards the girl. My hand then slowly shakes its "head", points at her tummy and attacks. She thinks this is hysterical.

As I say, we do this all the time. But I suppose last evening she felt the urge to add an extra spot of oomph to the game, because suddenly her eyes blazed, her grin turned downright wicked and she peed on me.

I've used a great variety of language in dealing with my children, some of it rather course. But I think this was the first time I've been reduced to simple, inarticulate roaring. This startled the girl exceedingly. Ordinarily, one might worry that such alarm would cause a small child to, say, wet her pants. But of course in this case, that concern had already been rendered moot.

Rotten fiend.