December 03, 2004

Advantage: Llamabutchers!

Here's what your (ahem) humble LLamas wrote last June 17th:

It's time to stop namby-pambying around

I've thought for awhile now that the best way to throw a serious monkey-wrench into AQ and all its little lackeys would be to skip the "What would Bugs Bunny do?" stuff that Omniscient Glenn has been promoting and go straight to to "What would Tyler Durden do?" (i.e. the infamous and legendary Brad Pitt character from Fight Club)

And the answer is simple: hack al-Jazeera's signal, and occasionally start slipping in poorly-done subliminal messages that support Israel and make fun of Islam and Allah. Result: tee-vees across the Middle East shot out like so many dead screenless Emerson Electrics stacked like cordwood behind Graceland during Mardi Gras week.

Then, hack a popular pro-AQ website (or even better, invest six months or so into creating a fake AQ supporter fan site that people think are real) and then slowly start releasing the rumor that al-Jazeera is actually run by Mossad and is pumping propaganda into the Middle East. Result: truck bomb takes out al-Jazeera, or as we say two birds, one truck.

Then, start stuff about how cell phones are being sold by Israeli companies in the Middle East that sterilize and shrivel up the naughty bits of Arab men, etc. Result: fanned paranoia in a way that destabilizes networks etc. It's basic Sun-Tsu: exploit the weaknesses of your opponents. They try to exploit our love of life by suicide bombing--it's high time we began to exploit their sexism, racism, tribalism, and fear of technology, let alone the asinine all-encompassing anti-Semitism.

Then, start a rumor that Michael Moore is a pinata filled with signed, original editions of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Result: as they say in tee-vee guide, "Hilarity results...." Ah, to be the guy owning the broom-stick concession on that glorious day!

Of course, you can't take the "WWTDD?" meme too far, as it would inevitably lead to flying a cargo 747 loaded to the gills with baco-bits over Mecca, not bothering to explain that baco-bits actually contain no pork products...

Almost six months later, THIS shows up in the Tehran Times:

Al-Jazeera’s Psyops

By Hassan Hanizadeh
The Al-Jazeera network’s recent insult of the Iranian nation was totally unacceptable.

The Arabic network, which broadcasts its programs from the little Arab country Qatar, has recently posted an insulting cartoon about the Islamic Republic of Iran on its English site.

In the cartoon, a cleric, who is the symbol of the Islamic Republic of Iran, indifferently passes by various scenes of the current problems in the Islamic world, but reacts strongly when he sees that the name of the Persian Gulf has been changed to the unacceptable “Arab Gulf”.

Iranian officials made a prompt denunciation of this very amateurish and dishonorable measure, which has its roots in Al-Jazeera officials’ animosity toward Iranians.

The Al-Jazeera network was founded in 1997, ostensibly to create a new movement in the static media of the Arab world, which are mostly government controlled, and was initially welcomed.

Many media experts believed that the new network would create a revolution in the field of information dissemination, particularly in the Arab states on the Persian Gulf.

However, at the same time, rumors arose suggesting that the network was established by U.S. and Israeli agents in order to present a bad image of Islam to the world.

Some regional experts expressed doubts about the allegations though, because the establishment of a media outlet with the aim of promptly informing Arab nations about the latest world news seemed to be a good idea.

But the actions of the network gradually revealed the fact that Al-Jazeera officials, on the orders of Zionist agents, are trying to divide Islamic countries and tarnish the image of Islam.

After Al-Jazeera broadcasted some distorted news reports about Saudi Arabia, tension rose between that country and Qatar, and the two Arab states almost cut off diplomatic relations.

Yet, instead of adopting a defensive stance toward the negative propaganda of the network, Saudi Arabia took an innovative measure and established the Al-Arabiyya network to confront Al-Jazeera.

At the beginning of the U.S. attack on Afghanistan, Al-Jazeera became the tribune of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda terrorist groups in order to give the world the impression that those terrorists represented real Islam.

In addition, since the occupation of Iraq began, ethnic tension has risen and there have been clashes between Iraqi Sunnis and Shias, partly due to the efforts of Al-Jazeera.

By broadcasting abhorrent scenes of the beheadings of foreign hostages by the criminal agents of the Abu Musab al-Zarqawi terrorist group, the network succeeded in increasing anti-Muslim sentiment throughout the world, particularly in the West.

Following the advice of U.S. and Israeli experts in psychological operations (psyops), Al-Jazeera took actions which gave Westerners a negative image of Islam and Muslims.

In fact, the Al-Jazeera network was founded at exactly the same time when Iranian President Mohammad Khatami introduced his Dialogue Among Civilizations initiative as a logical strategy to bring the West and the Islamic world closer together.

Of course, the Zionists were not pleased at the idea because they believe that increased proximity between the Islamic world and the West is not in their interests. And that is why they founded the Al-Jazeera network to tarnish the image of true Islam.

Now, after seven years, it has become apparent that the real strategy of the network has been to create divisions between Islamic countries, to give the impression that Islam is a threat to the West, to present a negative image of the real Islam to the world, to isolate Muslims residing in the United States and other Western countries, and to create sectarian divisions between Shias and Sunnis in the Middle East.

Your LLamabutchers: Relentlessly screwing with the minds of the Jihadi-bungwads, since November 2003. And yes, that is our PayPal button over on the right...(hint hint hint)

And yes, we have Rusty on the problem of how many baco-bits it would take to fill a 747 cargo hauler....

Posted by Steve at December 3, 2004 10:18 PM
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