October 05, 2005

Lenin pushing daisies?

The Fabtabulous and Macktastic Chai-Rista has the latest on the unrestful sleep of Vladimir Lenin.

Personally, I think someone could make a killing hiring his body out for a speaking tour of Amerikkkan colleges. They could roll his cadaver up to the podium, and some honors student who is doing her honors thesis on ventriloquism amongst immigrant lesbians in North Chicago, circa Tuesdays in January, 1888 could do the honors of fronting some rallying cries, "McChimpy Walmart Hitler must die to appease our pacifist souls! Down with the race-traitor Rice, up with the master-baiter Moore!" and such pablum and drivel. The students would eat it up because the speaker would be as lifelike and authentic as their senior professors, and the ideological messages would help them in their classes deconstructing ontolgoically the heirarchy apparent in 1970s tee-vee show lunchboxes, or from the study of the history of cookbooks.

But see, there I go, thinking like a capitalist...

Posted by Steve at October 5, 2005 03:48 PM | TrackBack

If they plan to keep him laying around the place, at the very least they could dress him up for State holidays.

On May Day he could sport a red buttoneer and carry a pompom. Or would that do too much for the floral and pompom industries?

Posted by: Chai-rista at October 6, 2005 11:05 AM

One of the funniest stories I ever read was by Norman Spinrad in "Other Americas", a collection of four novellas. In one of them the President of the United States was an ex-used car salesman who was kidnapped and turned into a sex maniac, and the General Secretary of the USSR had been dead for ten years and his body made into an animatronic puppet. Hash-smoking Russian software designers then randomized his vocal software. All of this took place in the shadow of nuclear holocaust by a crazy Middle Eastern dictator who decreed that everyone entering his country must be legally stoned at all times.

Posted by: Chris at October 6, 2005 01:31 PM

I always wondered what happened to the body of lenin after the soveit union fell did they bury him or is he still preserved?

Posted by: spurwing plover at October 11, 2005 10:50 AM