September 21, 2005

Gratuitous Outdoor Fuming

Who knew that deer like to eat the flowers off chrysanthemums?

I noticed this morning that they'd polished off the entire set of eight plants along the walk by our front door. And for afters, they razed to the ground a group of nearby hostas that were just sprouting up again after the last time the deer had got to them.

Those God-damned dewy-eyed bastards.

Posted by Robert at September 21, 2005 09:20 AM | TrackBack

Bear traps.

Big fan, big fan.

Posted by: Bill from INDC at September 21, 2005 09:43 AM

Just out of curiosity, how much is the U.N. Foundation paying you not to post?

Posted by: Robbo the LB at September 21, 2005 09:55 AM

Don't feel bad, those bastards ate our grapes and have started on my red maple. Those buggers get right up to the dinged porch!

Posted by: GroovyVic at September 21, 2005 10:35 AM

Love your stuff, big fan.

Posted by: Bill from INDC at September 21, 2005 11:40 AM

At our old house in NY we had a veggie garden. Electric fence (low enough for them to bound over) didn't work. Urine didn't work. Motion sensor light only made it easier for them to find the tasty bits. And you can't shoot them, so what's left is teaching them how to use condoms and diaphrams.

Posted by: rbj at September 21, 2005 12:47 PM

Who says you can't shoot them?

Okay, if you must take the wussie way, hair from your brushes in little bags... freaks 'em out. The neighbors will leave you alone, too. Or go with the salt block and the thirty-aught-six like a real gardner.

Posted by: tee bee at September 21, 2005 03:27 PM

Matter of fact, I was once told that Fairfax County, Virginia allows bow-hunting in neighborhoods like mine so long as the hunter gets the consent of the surrounding neighbors.

The damn deer get so close to the house, I reckon even I could hit one of them, even without any experience.

Posted by: Robbo the LB at September 21, 2005 03:32 PM

Wah. Deer?

When I was in high school, we rented a small farm in the rural Oregon community where my father was a pastor, and kept a small herd of cattle. We had regular nocturnal visits from deer and elk. A couple of differences between the blacktail deer, which is native to western Oregon, and the Elk:

1. Deer are browsers, elk are grazers.
2. Deer will leap over incredibly high fences with relative ease. Elk probably could, but they don't bother. They go THROUGH such fences. They'll walk a fenceline until they come to a fencepost, lean on it until it collapses (and one post always will), then go through the hole created by the collapse.

Also a bit of trivia here, regarding this behavior: any hole big enough to let elk IN is also big enough to let cows OUT.

From where they can make their way into the neighbors' yard a mile away.

At 4 AM.

In the rain.

On a school day.

Yeah, eaten flowers, that's rough.

Posted by: Brian B at September 22, 2005 10:26 AM

Lets send a whole bunch of deer into hollywood where like like to get pictures of themselves with the little deer pose with bambi hah bunch of jerks and its been years since i lasted tasted venison

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Posted by: Charles Anderson at December 3, 2005 06:16 PM