I have to admit - those books are dense, miserable reads.

"Then the hobbits ran over here. Then over there. Then they ate. Then they were attacked by a tree. Hey, 40 stanzas of impenetrable elvish poetry!"

The story is great, but the execution is like reading stereo instructions.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Shaking head sadly]

Ah, you young whippersnappers with yer hurry, hurry, hurry, and yer instant gratification!

What I want to know is, who is Tom Bombadil?

There are some who say he is a prankster god visiting from an entirely different mythos.* Some claim he is Eru himself.

I have no firm opinions on him. Jackson saw fit not to include him. He did, of course, show up in National Lamppon's "Bored of the Rings" as the drug-peddling Tim Benzedrine, though.

*(Consider, if you will, the Aesir and the Vanir -- two sets of gods from two different mythic systems, harnessed together in one pantheon. Likely a bargain worked out after a battle between the Norse and their predecessors in Scandinavia. Or maybe I just made that up. I'm not sure.)

Dude, when I want "hurry, hurry, hurry, and ... instant gratification," I don't read books. I read magazines.

Actually not so much "read" as "look at the pictures."

Of the naked girls.

Bombadil never really gets explained. He's discussed briefly at the Counsel of Elrond, but all we learn is that he's been around a long time. Elrond says:

"But I had forgotten Bombadil, if indeed this is still the same that walked the woods and hills long ago, and even then was older than the old. That was not then his name. Iarwain Ben-adar we called him, oldest and fatherless. But many another name he has since been given by other folk: Forn by the Dwarves, Orald by Northern Men, and other names beside."

Earlier, when he describes himself to Frodo, he says pretty much the same thing:

"Don't you know my name yet? That's the only answer. Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless? But you are young and I am old. Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside."

I do not recall that he gets mentioned anywhere else, unlike, say, Gandalf and the Ents, who both appear briefly in The Silmarillion. I suppose, based on his self-description, that there could be made an argument that he is Eru personified. On the other hand, he might just be another of the Maiar.

Now, aren't you glad you asked?

Of course, who can forget:

Tim! Tim! Benzedrine!
Hash! Boo! Valvoline!
Clean, clean, clean for Gene!
First, second, neutral, park,
Hie thee hence, you leafy narc!

Who is Tom Bombadil? I'm going to cover a lot of that in the appropriate chapter, based a number of web resources I've found over the years. No definite answers, though. Only speculation.

Stop reading ahead, dammit! I'm going as fast as I can!
;-)

Ach! Cautiousssss, my preciosssss! More haste, less speed! We doesn't want to breaks our necks, does we?