February 14, 2005
Even More Grumpy Valentine's Day Posting
THIS is why any young man hoping to lay his heart at the feet of his dream girl is a fool to do so in writing.
UPDATE: In a happy synergy between Plum-blogging and Valentine's Day, I give you a brief passage from P.G. Wodehouse's Right Ho, Jeeves. The Old Boy knew a thing or two about the Language of Love:
“You consider total abstinence [from alchohol] a handicap to a gentleman who wishes to make a proposal of marriage, sir?”Posted by Robert at February 14, 2005 12:55 PM
The question amazed me.
“Why, dash it,” I said, astounded, “you must know it is. Use your intelligence, Jeeves. Reflect what proposing means. It means that a decent, self-respecting chap has got to listen to himself saying things which, if spoken on the silver screen, would cause him to dash to the box-office and demand his money back. Let him attempt to do it on orange juice, and what ensues? Shame seals his lips, or, if it doesn't do that, makes him lose his morale and start to babble."
Lol, Robert. Since you put it that way, maybe that was kind of wrong of me.
Oh cruel cruel blogosphere that hath such bitches in it!
Posted by: annika at February 14, 2005 01:03 PMNo, it just confirms for the rest of us guys that we aren't the only one who writes such gawdawful mushy sentiment.
Posted by: RobertJ at February 14, 2005 01:32 PMWhile I confess to have put my thoughts on paper to Mrs. LMC (and several select predecessors), I would never think of including anything that sounded vaguely insecure. Every man should know this, if you pour your heart out on paper to a woman, she will keep it forever--long after the breakup, subsequent loves, and marriage. A woman will keep love letters from a college boyfriend long after she married someone else --not because she regrets marrying her husband, but because it is tangible proof that she was the most important woman in the world to someone, if only for a while.
Posted by: LMC at February 14, 2005 03:07 PM"Wattle!"
Posted by: Kathy at February 14, 2005 03:20 PMI take it Kathy disputes my analysis. One of my clients committed perjury at the guns-and-drugs trial of her honey by saying the gun the police found belonged to her. She had a felony bad-check conviction in her past and the feds promptly teed her up for a felon-in-possession of a firearm charge. The AUSA who had the case suspected that the honey talked her into lying for him and said so, offering to cut her a deal. I checked with my client and sure enough, the old boyfriend had told her how to do it in some fifty love letters. My gal still had them and the feds used those letters to prosecute the old boyfriend for obstruction. He is now serving a life sentence.
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