September 09, 2005

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HORSESHACK-GATE, DAY 7

Robbo----You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.

[Steve the LLamabutcher falls to his knees]

Steve the LLamabutcher: Oh, please, don't kill us. Please, please don't kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault.


Robbo: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.

Steve the LLamabutcher: No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!


[Rusty Shackleford covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Steve the LLamabutcher removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the "Mystery Woman" visibly softens]

Robbo: Oh, Jake... Jake, honey...

Steve the LLamabutcher: ....who the hell is Jake?

Cue the more somber "Whatever happened to Horseshack" theme.....

Posted by Steve at September 9, 2005 10:20 AM | TrackBack
Comments

He lives!

We thought for a second there INDC Bill had made a Steve-O suit out of you (thus symbolically becoming a Llama, which he knows he never could be, as Dr. Lecter explained to us when we visited him in his cell.)

Posted by: The Colossus at September 9, 2005 11:02 AM

"Mystery Woman?" Again with the drag thing! Did the Scottish Dwarf put you up to this?

Posted by: Robbo the LB at September 9, 2005 11:41 AM

I'm confused now... Bill didn't kidnap you? You were hiding from Robbo who, from time to time would prefer to be a Llama-ette, get's into drag. And all because you don't like Romanian food?
You had me worried sick!

Posted by: babs at September 9, 2005 12:21 PM

STEEEEEEEEVE!

Posted by: Gordon at September 10, 2005 02:03 PM
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