RUSTY WAXES POETIC

The fearless leader of Jawa Nation rhapsodizes about his, ummm, errrr, favorite urn.

Of course, since he's visiting fair Troy, a much better version would have gone something like this:

ODE TO A TROJAN URN

THOU still unravish'd bride of quietness,

Thou foster-child of Silence and slow Time,

Sylvan historian, who canst thus express

A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:

What leaf-fringed legend haunts about thy shape

Of deities or mortals, or of both,

In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?

What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?

What mad pursuit? What dread raptors fear to flap?

Oh, the place at USC,
where in grad school I did crap.