Gratuitous Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Bashing - Bastille Day Edition

Och! Ya kin keep yer bloody frogs' legs, ya beret-headed bastards!

Yes, it's Bastille Day and the celebration of the ol' French Revolution. And like Lady Bracknell, I presume you know what that unfortunate movement led to? The Terror and the rise of the Corsican Tyrant come to mind.

I read somewhere of an incident during the Terror that was as chilling, in its own way, as any of the other atrocities committed in the name of liberty, equality and fraternity. A young woman came to Paris from the country and was immediately arrested. On further investigation, it was discovered that her arrest had been a mistake - she happened to have the same name as someone else the authorities were hunting. The poor woman went to the guillotine anyway on the grounds of having an anti-revolutionary name.

And don't think the modern French are any better. Not only did Vichy France roll over under the Nazi onslaught, in the summer of 1940 when things were looking very bad for Britain, there were those in Vichy actively interested in joining in the Nazi attack, partly to get in on the distribution of spoils and partly through pure Anglophobia. Fortunately, Churchill (together with FDR) was able to put sufficient diplomatic pressure on the Vichy government to prevent it from doing anything foolish. A memo written by Churchill on November 14, 1940, sums up his view of the French situation nicely:

Although revenge has no part in politics, and we should always be looking forward rather than looking back, it would be a mistake to suppose that a solution to our difficulties with Vichy will be reached by a policy of mere conciliation and forgiveness. The Vichy Government is under heavy pressure from Germany, and there is nothing that they would like better than to feel a nice, soft, cosy, forgiving England on their other side. This would enable them to win minor favors from Germany at our expense, and hang on as long as possible to see how the war goes. We, on the contrary, should not hesitate, when our interests require it, to confront them with difficult and rough situations, and make them feel that we have teeth as well as Hitler.

It must be remembered that these men have committed acts of baseness on a scale which have earned them the lasting contempt of the world, and that they have done this without the slightest authority from the French people. Laval is certainly filled by the bitterest hatred of England, and is reported to have said that he would like to see us "crabouilles," which means squashed so as to leave only a grease-spot. Undoubtedly, if he had had the power, he would have marketed the unexpected British resistance with his German masters to secure a better price for French help in finishing us off. Darlan is mortally envenomed by the injury we have done to his Fleet. Petain has always been an anti-British defeatist, and is now a dotard. The idea that we can build on such men is vain. They may, however, be forced by rising opinion in France and by German severities to change their line in our favor. Certainly we should have contacts with them. But in order to promote such favourable tendencies we must make sure the Vichy folk are kept well ground between the upper and nether millstones of Germany and Britain. In this way, they are most likely to be brought into a more serviceable mood during the short run that remains to them.

A few years back, I recall reading an article about the superiority of dogs over cats as pets. The author said something to the effect that cats look at one with a supercilous sneer that says, "The only reason I don't eat you is that you're bigger than me." I think the French Government is very cat-like. And although Winnie went out of his way to champion the virtues of the French people, as opposed to the Vichy Government, the fact remains that Vichy could not have existed without, if not popular support, at least popular resignation.

No, I haven't forgotten the disgraceful way France has behaved towards us since 9/11. France is not our ally.

UPDATE: Here's the classic Bastille Day Goldberg File, written by Jonah in his prime.

UPDATE DEUX: Here's Jonah's 2001 Tribute.

UPDATE TROIS: Okay, I will give the French credit for one thing - they think Tom Cruise is a crackpot.

UPDATE Le FOUR: The Irish Elk posts the words to La Marseillaise.