June 20, 2005
Who Wants To Be A Skank?
By now you've probably heard that Paris Hilton's mother Kathy is hosting her own Apprentice-like reality show "I Want To Be A Hilton".
According to the ad copy:
Everyone's heard of the Hiltons, especially daughter's Paris and Nicky, but what would it take to actually live like them?Kathy Hilton (mom to Paris and Nicky) hosts this engaging and humorous series that follows 14 eccentric young contestants as they vie for the opportunity to live the glamorous lifestyle of high society. Kathy Hilton guides the contestants through a variety of weekly challenges set in glamorous Manhattan and ranging from art and culture to beauty and fashion. Each week Kathy eliminates those who "didn't make the list." The finalist will win an extravagant prize package including a $200,000 trust fund!
Ya know, if I were the parent of one of the tawdriest, most hidiously embarrasing bits o' crumpet to lower the collective IQ and define celebrity deviancy downward, I'd be more inclined to go and hide out in the Andes somewhere, not to try and capitalize on her infamy in order to nab a couple of minutes in the spotlight myself.
Then again, it strikes me that the fact that Kathy would rather take the latter path probably says something about how Paris got to be what she is in the first place. Trees and apples, y'know.
Being as the 2 magazine subscriptions at our house with my name on them are TV Guide and Maxim, my knowledge of any of this is as follows:
TV Guide (well, I *think* it was them -- oh, yes, it was...) actually had an article where Kathy tried to teach Tommy Lee (!) table manners over the course of a lunch date. Wackiness ensued, of coure, of course...
And according to a sidebar in Maxim, Kathy appeared in two early episodes of Happy Days -- I leave it to the fine minds here to take that and run with it...
Posted by: LDH at June 20, 2005 03:43 PM"Ya know, if I were the parent of one of the tawdriest, most hidiously embarrasing bits o' crumpet to lower the collective IQ and define celebrity deviancy downward, I'd be more inclined to go and hide out in the Andes somewhere, not to try and capitalize on her infamy in order to nab a couple of minutes in the spotlight myself."
Robbo, that's probably the best single sentence I've read on the blogs this month -- worthy of Dave Barry in his prime.
Just how long did it take you to write it?
Keep up the most excellent work.
Posted by: James Brown at June 21, 2005 02:27 AMWhy, thankee!
Posted by: Robert the LB at June 21, 2005 08:48 AMLANGUAGE ALERT!!
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The Theme Song to said show will likely be "Cum Drunk Fuck Sluts" sung by -- c'mon -- you know who. . .
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Christina Aguilera.
My eyes! They burn! They BURRRRRRRN!
Posted by: Robert the LB at June 21, 2005 04:19 PMThe apple/tree thing explains a lot. What do you call it when you're hell bent to dilute your own brand name?
Posted by: Chai-rista at June 22, 2005 08:08 PM
