June 08, 2005

BLOGISTAN HIGH 1984 Yearbook

blogistan yearbook.jpg


Ah, memory lane.....nothing quite like dusting off the old high school yearbook to remember the days of yore! And what wacky times we had at old Blogistan High, rooting the "Mighty Anklebiters" to victory over the tofu eating hosebags at Moonbat Central. But I digress.

So let's see what we can find:


SENIORS

KATHY CAKEEATER
Quote: Pa Ingalls could kick Donald Trump's pampered ass!
(JR. Divas of America 2, 3, 4; Jane Austen Fan Club 1, 2, 3, 4; Baton Team 1; Foucalt Four H, 4)


GORDON CRANKYNEOCON

Quote: Screw Clapton: Gary Gygax is God!
Most Likely to: Have his wizard roll a "32" to invoke the cloak of studliness
(Pre-Straussian Society 3,4; AV Club [president] 1, 2, 3, 4)

SADIE FISTFUL

Quote: So many books, so many men, so many papercuts
True Life Fact: Was the inspiration for "Don't Stand So Close to Me"
(Brooding Hipster Poet Society 3, 4; Bongo Appreciation Club 4)

CHIP HATEMONGER
Quote: That Garfield, what trouble has he gotten into today?
Most Likely To: be found stalking Jim Davis
Greatest Ambition: To lead chorus #23 of "Kumbaya" at Hands Across America
(Fuzzy Puppy and Crying Clown Art Society 2,3; Kumbaya Klub 4 [president])

CHAI RISTA

Quote: Sing me a song I'm the payaya man.....Gawd, I luv Billy Joel!
Favorite Moment: Discovering the sekrit sauce for the "McRib" in Chemistry Lab
(BBQ Club 3,4; Kurt Russell Society 1, 2, 3, 4; Future Librarians of America 1)

VLADIMIR COMMISSAR

Quote: I pity your bourgoisie pretensions, fool!
Favorite Moment: Trying to explain the dialectic to Mr. T, visiting as part of the "Up With People" show
(Mensheviks 1; Bolsheviks 2, 3, 4 [Vanguard]; yearbook 2, 3)

GANDALF X. DONKEY
Favorite Moment: Was "Boy in the crowd #3" for Diane Lane "Pert Shampoo" commerical
Quote: Umm, you see Miss Lane, "D & D" stands for "Dangerous & Dashing"

"JEFF GOLDSTEIN"

Quote: Dude, where's my Matador?
Greatest Ambition: To be fry cook #2 at Chez Bearded Clam
(Chess Club 1; AV Club 1)

RUSTY SHACKLEFORD
Quote: Forget "Bitchin' Camaro"...I'm going to get me a Bitchin Sandcrawler
Greatest Ambition: To be George Lucas' prison cellmate
(Model Airplane Club 1,2,3,4; Future Propane Salesman of Arlen 4)

BILL ARDOLINO
Quote: I'm so getting out of this crappy town: DC, here I come!
Legendary Tomfoolery: Learning the ins and outs of 1970s typewriters to fake notes and memos to get out of Gym requirements
(LLama Polo Team [waterboy] 1,2,3,4; Student Government [secretary] 4)

JEN LINTEFINIEL

Greatest ambition: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I keep having this weird dream that I'm racing around the world with a LLama on tee-vee, having to eat big piles of bugs and detesting some weird monster named "Robandamber."
(Choir 1,2,3,4; Junior Justice League of America 3,4)

COLOSSUS RHODES
Quote: Damn that Ronald Reagan! We just GOT to get Fritz Mondale elected if we have ANY hope of making a long term peace with the Soviets. Think of the children!
Greatest Ambition: To be a manager in the WWF---Classy Freddy Blassie Jr!
(Kumbaya Klub 2,3,4)

CHRISTINIA F. REPARTEE

Quote: "Hester Pryne was framed!"
Greatest Tomfoolery: Wrote in fertilizer "Mr. H. has a teenie weenie" on the football field---still there two years later.
(Vassar Poetry Award 2,3,4; Bongo Appreciation Club 3,4 [president])

RAE LIKELYSTORY
Weirdest Moment: Bumped into John Aniston's daughter in NY, decided to do a "Prince and the Pauper" thing
Quote: You are SO going to pay for that, LLama boy!
(Poetry Club 1,2,3,4; Bongo Appreciation club 1,2)

WUZ A. DEM

Greatest life ambition: to build a cyborg talking paperclip and have him destroy the minds of the world's elite by interupting their thoughts and dreams with really lame advice.....like, hey, John, it looks like you are writing a synoptic gospel based on a hallucination: would you like to use standard format? Sigh, it's only a dream...
High School Highlight: Seeing Mo Udall in the elevator during the Presidential Classroom visit to DC Junior year.
(AV Club 1,2,3,4; "Mighty Anklebiter Times" layout 1,2,3,4; Model Airplane Club 1,2.3.4)

BILL TAINTED

Quote: Mark my words, Catalano: Bill Buckner is one of the greatest first basemen of all times, and now the Sawx have him! Twenty years from now, his name is going to be on the lips of every New York baseball fan----neener!
(Sawx Fanz 1,2,3,4; Model Airplane Club 3)

JOHN LANIUS

Quote: Sulu, you lucky bastard!
(Model Rocket Club 1,2,3,4; AV Club 1,2; Dewey Cheatum & Howe Intern 4)

ROBERT LLAMABUTCHER
Quote: Stephen!
Nickname: Felix
Greatest Desire: To shovel dirt on the graves of Derrida, Foucalt, and Chomsky
(Future Fussy Neatniks of America 1,2,3,4 [president])

STEPHEN LLAMABUTCHER
Quote: Ummmmmm.....
Nickname: Oscar
Greatest Desire: To date Brooke Shields and have Van Halen play my 18th birthday party
(Model Airplane Club 1,2,3,4; "Mighty Anklebiters" News Editor 3,4; Yearbook 4; AV Club 1,2,3,4 [el presidente]

MARGI LOWRY

Nickname: Da Goddess
Quote: Don't Make Me Come Back There!
Tomfoolery: She's a maniac, MANIAC, out on the floor!
(Cool Lunch Table 1,2,3,4)


JUNIORS

SOBEK P. UNDIT
(Yearbook 1,2,3; Flag Football 2)


I've got to go and take the 8 year old to swim team, so I've got to run, but Robbo and I will be strolling down memory lane digging through the yearbook and adding more of our favorites. If you've got one, or something we missed, leave a link and we'll add it to the post.

Yes, all honor and glory goes to the Commissar for inventing this brand of link-whoring schtick. Long live the Vanguard of the Proletariat!

Posted by Steve at June 8, 2005 03:21 PM
Comments

Don't make me publish your yearbook picture... I'm not bluffing.

Posted by: Gordon at June 8, 2005 03:43 PM

That's darn near funnier than the law allows. You'll be publishing in serial form soon on the Llamabutchers Premium Access site, only $19.95 per month for Premium Access membership!

PS Can we expect to see a frosh/soph post soon? Perhaps a more recent edition? I'm pretty sure Bill went to BH back in the day, more like 1997, and isn't Dr. Rusty a prof emeritus there?

Posted by: tee bee at June 8, 2005 03:52 PM

last year:

http://acepilots.com/mt/archives/001119.html

http://www.indcjournal.com/archives/000713.php

Posted by: Bill from INDC at June 8, 2005 03:59 PM

To quote George Harrison on the Simpsons, "It's been done."

But even so, WHERE AM I?????

Posted by: Rusty Shackleford at June 8, 2005 04:15 PM

Thanks for the kind mention. My efforts were wholly preliminary and crude. I am a mere Anakin Skywalker to your Darth Vader.

Posted by: The Commissar at June 8, 2005 10:15 PM

OH lawd. I do believe I've been insulted....'don't stand so close to me'...

Ahem. I will have my revenge.

Posted by: sadie at June 9, 2005 01:40 AM

Thanks for the kind mention. My efforts were wholly preliminary and crude. I am a mere Anakin Skywalker to your Darth Vader.


Yeah, I was just hurt that I didn't get an entry.

*** sniffle ***

Posted by: Bill from INDC at June 9, 2005 10:06 AM

Would that be cute n' fuzzy n' can't act Moppet Anakin, or pouty n' pert n' can't act brooding Anakin?

Thank you for the greatest compliment of all time. I'm going to go and crush Ardolino's windpipe with my mind to celebrate....

Posted by: Steve the LLamabutcher at June 9, 2005 10:14 AM

That was a hallucination?

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at June 9, 2005 12:43 PM

Aye...seems the stereotypes I mentioned in reponse really ARE true....look who hasn't shown up.

Heh.

Posted by: sadie at June 9, 2005 01:28 PM

You guys are a riot!

Let's just say I taught Matthew McConaughey to play the bongos...

; )

Posted by: Chrissy at June 9, 2005 02:41 PM

Actually, I was class of '83, so I had the pleasure of voting for RR, absentee, in college in 1984. I was never a liberal, even in my youth.

Reagan carried Massachusetts that year. Last Republican to do so.

Posted by: The Colossus at June 10, 2005 09:45 AM

BILL ARDOLINO
Quote: I'm so getting out of this crappy town: DC, here I come!
Legendary Tomfoolery: Learning the ins and outs of 1970s typewriters to fake notes and memos to get out of Gym requirements


Im laughing too hard to think of anything to say to that. maybe: Favorite newsman: Dan Rather.

Posted by: Jane at June 10, 2005 01:11 PM

WTF??
"(Cool Lunch Table 1,2,3,4)"

I would have TOTALLY sat with you geeks for lunch. I have *always* been appreciative of men who could make milk spurt from my nose.

Really.

Maybe I'll send you a picture you can 'shop half-to-death.

Posted by: Margi at June 10, 2005 03:45 PM
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