BLOGISTAN HIGH 1984 Yearbook

Ah, memory lane.....nothing quite like dusting off the old high school yearbook to remember the days of yore! And what wacky times we had at old Blogistan High, rooting the "Mighty Anklebiters" to victory over the tofu eating hosebags at Moonbat Central. But I digress.

So let's see what we can find:

SENIORS

KATHY CAKEEATER
Quote: Pa Ingalls could kick Donald Trump's pampered ass!
(JR. Divas of America 2, 3, 4; Jane Austen Fan Club 1, 2, 3, 4; Baton Team 1; Foucalt Four H, 4)

GORDON CRANKYNEOCON
Quote: Screw Clapton: Gary Gygax is God!
Most Likely to: Have his wizard roll a "32" to invoke the cloak of studliness
(Pre-Straussian Society 3,4; AV Club [president] 1, 2, 3, 4)

SADIE FISTFUL
Quote: So many books, so many men, so many papercuts
True Life Fact: Was the inspiration for "Don't Stand So Close to Me"
(Brooding Hipster Poet Society 3, 4; Bongo Appreciation Club 4)

CHIP HATEMONGER
Quote: That Garfield, what trouble has he gotten into today?
Most Likely To: be found stalking Jim Davis
Greatest Ambition: To lead chorus #23 of "Kumbaya" at Hands Across America
(Fuzzy Puppy and Crying Clown Art Society 2,3; Kumbaya Klub 4 [president])

CHAI RISTA
Quote: Sing me a song I'm the payaya man.....Gawd, I luv Billy Joel!
Favorite Moment: Discovering the sekrit sauce for the "McRib" in Chemistry Lab
(BBQ Club 3,4; Kurt Russell Society 1, 2, 3, 4; Future Librarians of America 1)

VLADIMIR COMMISSAR
Quote: I pity your bourgoisie pretensions, fool!
Favorite Moment: Trying to explain the dialectic to Mr. T, visiting as part of the "Up With People" show
(Mensheviks 1; Bolsheviks 2, 3, 4 [Vanguard]; yearbook 2, 3)

GANDALF X. DONKEY
Favorite Moment: Was "Boy in the crowd #3" for Diane Lane "Pert Shampoo" commerical
Quote: Umm, you see Miss Lane, "D & D" stands for "Dangerous & Dashing"

"JEFF GOLDSTEIN"
Quote: Dude, where's my Matador?
Greatest Ambition: To be fry cook #2 at Chez Bearded Clam
(Chess Club 1; AV Club 1)

RUSTY SHACKLEFORD
Quote: Forget "Bitchin' Camaro"...I'm going to get me a Bitchin Sandcrawler
Greatest Ambition: To be George Lucas' prison cellmate
(Model Airplane Club 1,2,3,4; Future Propane Salesman of Arlen 4)

BILL ARDOLINO
Quote: I'm so getting out of this crappy town: DC, here I come!
Legendary Tomfoolery: Learning the ins and outs of 1970s typewriters to fake notes and memos to get out of Gym requirements
(LLama Polo Team [waterboy] 1,2,3,4; Student Government [secretary] 4)

JEN LINTEFINIEL
Greatest ambition: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I keep having this weird dream that I'm racing around the world with a LLama on tee-vee, having to eat big piles of bugs and detesting some weird monster named "Robandamber."
(Choir 1,2,3,4; Junior Justice League of America 3,4)

COLOSSUS RHODES
Quote: Damn that Ronald Reagan! We just GOT to get Fritz Mondale elected if we have ANY hope of making a long term peace with the Soviets. Think of the children!
Greatest Ambition: To be a manager in the WWF---Classy Freddy Blassie Jr!
(Kumbaya Klub 2,3,4)

CHRISTINIA F. REPARTEE
Quote: "Hester Pryne was framed!"
Greatest Tomfoolery: Wrote in fertilizer "Mr. H. has a teenie weenie" on the football field---still there two years later.
(Vassar Poetry Award 2,3,4; Bongo Appreciation Club 3,4 [president])

RAE LIKELYSTORY
Weirdest Moment: Bumped into John Aniston's daughter in NY, decided to do a "Prince and the Pauper" thing
Quote: You are SO going to pay for that, LLama boy!
(Poetry Club 1,2,3,4; Bongo Appreciation club 1,2)

WUZ A. DEM
Greatest life ambition: to build a cyborg talking paperclip and have him destroy the minds of the world's elite by interupting their thoughts and dreams with really lame advice.....like, hey, John, it looks like you are writing a synoptic gospel based on a hallucination: would you like to use standard format? Sigh, it's only a dream...
High School Highlight: Seeing Mo Udall in the elevator during the Presidential Classroom visit to DC Junior year.
(AV Club 1,2,3,4; "Mighty Anklebiter Times" layout 1,2,3,4; Model Airplane Club 1,2.3.4)

BILL TAINTED
Quote: Mark my words, Catalano: Bill Buckner is one of the greatest first basemen of all times, and now the Sawx have him! Twenty years from now, his name is going to be on the lips of every New York baseball fan----neener!
(Sawx Fanz 1,2,3,4; Model Airplane Club 3)

JOHN LANIUS
Quote: Sulu, you lucky bastard!
(Model Rocket Club 1,2,3,4; AV Club 1,2; Dewey Cheatum & Howe Intern 4)

ROBERT LLAMABUTCHER
Quote: Stephen!
Nickname: Felix
Greatest Desire: To shovel dirt on the graves of Derrida, Foucalt, and Chomsky
(Future Fussy Neatniks of America 1,2,3,4 [president])

STEPHEN LLAMABUTCHER
Quote: Ummmmmm.....
Nickname: Oscar
Greatest Desire: To date Brooke Shields and have Van Halen play my 18th birthday party
(Model Airplane Club 1,2,3,4; "Mighty Anklebiters" News Editor 3,4; Yearbook 4; AV Club 1,2,3,4 [el presidente]

MARGI LOWRY
Nickname: Da Goddess
Quote: Don't Make Me Come Back There!
Tomfoolery: She's a maniac, MANIAC, out on the floor!
(Cool Lunch Table 1,2,3,4)

JUNIORS

SOBEK P. UNDIT
(Yearbook 1,2,3; Flag Football 2)

I've got to go and take the 8 year old to swim team, so I've got to run, but Robbo and I will be strolling down memory lane digging through the yearbook and adding more of our favorites. If you've got one, or something we missed, leave a link and we'll add it to the post.

Yes, all honor and glory goes to the Commissar for inventing this brand of link-whoring schtick. Long live the Vanguard of the Proletariat!