June 02, 2005
The School of Man
Newly-engaged Lintenfiniel Jen posted a humorous course catalogue listing for a two year degree in becoming a Real Man "for those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage".
Well, it's just over two weeks until my twelfth anniversary, so I feel I can offer the guys a pointer or two on the subject. Most important course you'll ever take?
MEN 233 Just Say “Yes, Dear”
Remember that one and you're gold. But go read the others anyway.
(Yips! to Jen's future mother-in-law for sending the piece along.)
Posted by Robert at June 2, 2005 05:22 PM
Moments before my wedding began, my cousin leaned over and said: "[LMC], I'm going to tell you the same thing my father told me just before I got married. 'There are only three rules for a successful marriage-do what you're told, keep your mouth shut, and pay the bills.'"
Fast forward to the birth of your children. The father at the birth is like the groom at the wedding, just a prop to make the mother, formally the bride, look good. You're expected to get mother in labor to the hospital in time for the epidural,(get the ball inside the 50, and hand off to special teams, who will take it from there). You're not expected to deliver the child, nor do the staff, let alone the mother, want you to project manage, direct, or otherwise get involved (aka get in the way). When the staff talk to you, they are just being nice, they aren't interested in anything you (the Dad) has to say. It is all about HER....
So, the overall course summary is: the guy makes all the changes, and then when he finally understands this they teach him divorce is too expensive.
LMC, I would add a 4th point. Always apologize, even if it isn't your fault.
My favorite is one comedian Blake Clark used in one of his shows.
Yes Dear, you're right, I'm sorry.
You're just saying that to make me shut up!
Yes Dear, you're right, I'm sorry...