Just So You Know - Nailing Tracts to the Door Of The Death Star, Dept.

Everybody else is posting their Revenge of the Sith reviews.

I, for one, hereby state categorically that I refuse to see the movie. Maybe when it comes out on pay-per-view. But not before.

Why?

Because I feel that I am being hustled. The tee vee is full of the most blatent and gratuitous plugging - Yoda trying to get some guy's Pepsi being one of the least obnoxious. Many other programmers are jumping on the bandwagon - I saw a few minutes of a Discovery Channel series on "The Science of Star Wars" that had a lot of George Lucas yapping and very little real science. Meanwhile, the press is full of breathless stories about all the financial records the movie is breaking, as well as a fresh batch of reviews discussing Lucas as the Master Myth-maker of our Times.

Well, sorry. I hate this kind of hype. When I sense that much energy being put into an effort to manipulate me into shelling out ten bucks, or whatever it is, to see the thing, I naturally rebel. Especially given the fact that the series has been spiralling in ever since Empire Strikes Back.

More importantly, and particularly after the last two dogs, the message now seems to be that one has to see Revenge, well, because one has to. Because how else will we ever know how things got to be what they were at the beginning of the original Star Wars? Because how else will the circle be made complete?

Screw it. I am perfectly content with leaving the backstory of the original as that: backstory. To date, Lucas' attempts to fill in and expand on that story have been an artistic trainwreck and I don't see anything about this latest opus to indicate that it is any different. Lucas is rightly praised for the original, which was fresh, imaginative and fun. But that was a long time ago and, let's be honest, he plainly has jumped the shark since then. I refuse to let my enjoyment of the original be used to hold me hostage to this latest installment.

UPDATE: Ith has some interesting thoughts about Lucas' downward slide and the (often admittedly conflicted) willingness of fans to overlook this in the name of devotion to what might be called the idea of Star Wars. I believe that various religious excesses, from time to time, have been justified or explained away on similar grounds.

UPDATE DEUX: Ace weighs in with a critique that is both more comprehensive and more blistering than mine. Then again, he actually saw the film.

UPDATE TROIS: M'heh. Beautifully Atrocious Jeff has the Mother of all Star Wars hatred round-ups.

UPDATE, Oh Goddamit, What's French for "FOUR" Again?: Kathy The Cake-Eater posts her take, a la the Reduced Shakespeare Company, whom I've seen on stage. The vision of these guys doing a Star Wars review is exquisite.

UPDATE (see above) FIVE: Via Michelle Malkin, it's the Parade of Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes. If you are taking anti-geek medication, consult your doctor before viewing this link.