Joan of Seven Inches of Sense has a nifty post up that both delves into the awesome power of southern women to make their men jump and also offers some tips on maximizing that power. Basically, she advocates the iron fist in the velvet glove approach. My experience is that this works wonders.
Yips! to Rae.
Our pal Kathleen the Cake Eater is celebrating 10 years of marriage today. She has a good post reflecting on the last decade, many points of which resonate with me. (I think it's only after at least 10 years together that you get enough of the long view to begin to pick up on these things.)
Despite her misguided bias against certain literary characters and her rather perverse obsession with unorthodox anti-rabbit measures, we wish her and her hubby all the best.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
One of the bigger and more unlooked-for adjustments I'm having to make here is with the bathrooms. I got spoiled in the private sector with auto-flushers and auto-sinks. Now I actually have to flush and turn the water on and off - by hand!
Talk about sacrifice in the name of public service.....
For some reason this book was missing from the table at the Barnes & Noble with all the other "BusHitler McSmirky Chimperor Kerry is wicked awesome!" texts...
Yes, indeed, it's the Return of the Meme! But since we now have Extended Entry (TM) capabilities, no more clogging up the main page! I'll give you the first five here, go on to the EE to see the rest....
1. Your name spelled backwards. Rehctub Amall Eht Trebor
YIPS from Steve:yeknom evol awaj tep s'ytsuR
2. Where were your parents born? Father - Upstate New York (Endicott, I think); Mother - Cleveland.
YIPS from Steve:Hartford, Ct. and Jamaica (in Queens, wiseguy)
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Geeky Star Trek sounds for various command functions.
YIPS from Steve:Swiftvets: First Blood, Part Two
4. What’s your favorite restaurant? I go out so rarely these days it's tough to say.
YIPS from Steve:Casella's, a great family pizza place in Charlottesville
5. Last time you swam in a pool? Last Sunday. Cook-out at a friend's house.
YIPS from Steve:Last week.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? Two, both at Sweet Briar College (where the Missus was a theater major): I played Lysander in A Midsummer Night's Dream and Jimmy Farrell in John Synge's Playboy of the Western World.
YIPS from Steve:Detective Brannigan in Guys and Dolls (the only non-singing role in the show); various other "third guy from the left etc" in high school plays.
7. How many kids do you want? Three. (What a lucky coincidence!)
YIPS from Steve:Four. (What a lucky coincidence!)
8. Type of music you dislike most? I dislike most pop music. I absolutely loathe rap in all its permutations.
YIPS from Steve:Skank-a-teers.
9. Are you registered to vote? Yup.
YIPS from Steve:Yes--and under the ADA, all three of my personalities get to vote too!
10. Do you have cable? Nope. We have satellite dish.
YIPS from Steve:No.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? Do I look French?
YIPS from Steve:I've never worn a beret, either.
12. Ever prank call anybody? At my old firm, we used to like to wait for one of my friends to go to the Men's Room and then have him paged.
YIPS from Steve:No, I could never not start laughing.
13. Ever get a parking ticket? Fairfax County VA has to make money somehow.
YIPS from Steve:Er, ever spent time in DC?
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Not a chance.
YIPS from Steve:No. Yes.
15. Farthest place you ever traveled. Alaska.
YIPS from Steve:My place of employment, which is in another psychic dimension--aka "Evil Mayberry"
16. Do you have a garden? Do I have a garden, they ask. I won't for long if I don't stop Sauron's Wraith Rabbits.
YIPS from Steve:Yep---and it's been a killer year for tomatos.
17. What’s your favorite comic strip? Calvin & Hobbes and the old Bloom County. (Berke Breathed has officially descended into hackdom now.)
YIPS from Steve:Boondocks. I like the witty insightful criticisms of life in the Amerikan Gulag. And that whole story line with the 58 year old reservist losing his leg in Doonesbury--what a knee slapper! (err, sorry.)
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Well, the first verse anyway.
YIPS from Steve:That, and "Advance Australia Fair." Plus, I think the version they are playing at the Olympics is WAY too wimpy. They need to get the Foo-Fighters to do a medal stand version, and wave the USOC rules and allow our medalists to give the world the finger.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Morning shower.
YIPS from Steve:Mmm. Bill Clinton/MTV territory here. Let's just say, "hose, front yard, mid-morning."
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month? The Missus and I popped in Charade the other night. I'm not much of an Audrey Hepburn fan but man is this a good flick.
YIPS from Steve:The Village. I'm one of three people in America who liked it.
21. Favorite pizza topping? Pepperoni and sausage. We crave meat!
YIPS from Steve:I'm a ho when it comes to this. All time? The clam pizza at the Anthony's Pier 13 pizza place in Mystic Ct. is best all time. That, and the greek pizza with everything at the greek pizza place down the street from the Emory University Law School.
22. Chips or popcorn? Popcorn. With tabasco sauce.
YIPS from Steve:Chips--I hate the stuff that gets between my molars with popcorn.
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Next, please.
YIPS from Steve:Well, it depends what arse needs kissing and whether the Board's in town...
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? I don't even know what this means.
YIPS from Steve:No, but unfortunately I did go to a winter weekend formal at Smith College with a toothbrush sticking out of my blazer pocket. (shoot me, it was the 80s)
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No, but I dated a girl in college who had been some kind of Junior Miss Massachusetts or something.
YIPS from Steve:do you have pictures to prove it? then the answer is no!
26. Orange Juice or apple? Orange.
YIPS from Steve:Apple.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? Went out with the in-laws to John's Best Pizza, Westport, CT.
YIPS from Steve:The family tonight, after picking up the van from its 30K service (yeah, I'm living the high life for sure!)
28. Favorite type chocolate bar? We hates chocolate.
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2000.
YIPS from Steve:2002.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? We hates tomatoessss. Which is kinda a shame, as we've got half a dozen ripe cherry t's on the bush on our deck right now.
YIPS from Steve:I had two today at lunch---big, thick slicers almost as wide as the freaking bread. Fresh tomato + mustard + cheese + animal flesh=divine.
31. Have you ever won a trophy? I played soccer way back in junior high and got some kind of trophy one year for that.
YIPS from Steve:Team? Yes, in college rowing.
32. Are you a good cook? I'm certainly competent enough not to render eaters of my cooking violently ill.
YIPS from Steve:Yes.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Is that, like, some kind of metaphor? Know what I mean? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink!
YIPS from Steve:You mean, like, leaded or unleaded? nudge-nudge, wink wink!
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? I tried to order the Babe from the Bow-Flex commercials once, but they wouldn't let me.
YIPS from Steve:No.
35. Sprite or 7-up? We hates soda.
YIPS from Steve:Blecch.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? I worked the deli of a Waldbaum's supermarket one summer in college. You would have enjoyed my striped red shirt and red beret.
YIPS from Steve:Security guard, 4 years in college. Still have the badge.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Paper towels.
YIPS from Steve:Shampoo.
38. Ever throw up in public? Define public.
YIPS from Steve:After races (the year after Rob and I were in the same boat) I had this nasty condition where I would usually wind up vomitting right after the race. Sometimes I would get my head over the side in time, but more often than not, I'd be keeled over and would hit myself.Senior year, last race of the year, we lost to the rat bastards from Connecticut College by about 3 feet, and I was, as usual, slumped over and puking on myself (same position whether we won or lost). It was the first time we lost all season, and there happened to be a photographer from the Hartford Courant in one of the launches right by.
The next morning, front page of the Sunday Hartford Courant, above the fold, there's a nice 4x6 of me puking in my lap with the caption "winning is much more fun."
Needless to say, it's framed and on my office wall.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Yes.
YIPS from Steve:I'm a sap.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight? It happens, just not very often.
YIPS from Steve:Yes, it's what's kept our species ahead of the dolphins and cockroaches. But that which makes you go the distance? That's another concept altogether, and for my money a heck of a lot more satisfying.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number? Strictly for research purposes.
YIPS from Steve:Ditto.
42. Can ex’s be friends? My experience is that it never works out.
YIPS from Steve:Nope.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? The Missus after the birth of Llama-ette No. 3.
YIPS from Steve:Ditto.
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? Dunno.
45. What message is on your answering machine? Something short and sweet. I often feel that Sarah Conner's answering machine message in Terminator was grounds enough for her being waxed.
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Tough one. I have lots of favorites from the old days. Absolutely none from more recent years.
YIPS from Steve:Anything by Tim Kazurinsky (sp?)
47. What was the name of your first pet? We always had dogs and cats around when I was a kid. I guess the ones who count most as my pets would be a Pointer named Jake and a Scotty named Fergus.
48. What is in your purse? Next please.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Well.........
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? That I'm done with this list.
YIPS from Steve:That the semester starts tomorrow and boy I guess I need to get cracking on those syllabi!
Yips! to Jen.
Okay, this is Shakespeare-blogging. Deal with it.
Last night I popped in my tape of Kenneth Branagh's Henry V. I really do enjoy this film - how many other movies are there out there that have such a kick-butt varsity cast of Shakespearian actors?
Nonetheless, there are some elements about it that irk me. And since this is a Blog - where all manner of bloviation is possible - I am going to take the opportunity to rant about one of them in particular. Allow me to explain.......
First off, I get extremely impatient with Branagh's effort to turn the whole opus into an anti-war screed. This effort leads to some goofy results - witness, for example, the thigh-slapper lines of Mistress Quickly, Pistol, Bardolf, Nym and the Boy being delivered with an almost Alda-esque earnestness. (Okay, okay, Ken. We get you. War is Hell for both the King and the Little Guy.)
But what really bugs me is the way Branagh chops and changes the beginning of the play to make it seem as if the Archbishops, with the connivence of Gloucester (Brian Blessed), hustle Harry into a needless war through a combination of smooth talking and bribery. In fact, there is a good bit of dialogue among the nobles about the rest of Europe (including France) watching Harry for signs of weakness and, in particular, the designs of the Scots to invade. There is also, of course, the historical context of four centuries of Anglo-Norman land-grabbing in France.
What really really bugs me is the way Branagh stages Canterbury's speech on the French claim that Salic law bars Henry's claim to the French crown. In fact, the Archbishop's argument is perfectly sound: Salic law does not apply to the French Succession. He then cites half a dozen precedents in support of his case that completely undermine the French position. Truly, as Canterbury says, it is "as clear as is the summer sun" that Harry has a perfectly legal claim to the French crown.
Now when Canterbury speaks this line, Branagh has all the English lords chuckle, as if they are nudge-nudge, wink-winking at each other over the convoluted, shady and weak pretext of the Archbish's argument. This is exactly wrong. In 14th Century Europe, the laws of royal succession were taken very, very seriously. Every nobleman had an exact and running knowledge of the histories of the various royal lines, who was entitled to what and by what right. (The question of whether such right should be enforced was a different matter, one more based on the reality of power politics.) Nothing in Canterbury's speech would have seemed dubious to Harry's Court, much less would it have provoked cynical chuckling. This is just a cheap shot by Branagh (who I'm sure is a Loony-Left Labourite if not an outright Jacobin) to sully the Crown and the Church. Hmmph!
Frankly, I've always thought Shakespeare put this speech in the play in large part to show off his own knowledge. It presents a bit of a staging problem - it's long and an average audience could very well get lost in all the references to Pepin, Childeric, Charles of Lorraine and others. Nonetheless, it's not a speech that can be cut because it deals directly with the legality of Henry's claim to the French throne. What to do? I've never seen a stage production of Henry V. The only other movie version I've seen, of course, is Laurence Olivier's. He gets around the issue by turning the whole thing into a Pat and Mike routine between the actors playing Canterbury and the other Archbishop, much to the delight of the Groundlings in the Elizabethan audience.
Aside from Olivier's dodge and Branagh's low blow, does anyone out there recall how any other productions deal with this scene? I'd be curious.