Dr. Rusty Shackleford over at Mypetjawa (www.spawnofsatan.mu.nu) regales us with tales of being appointed to the Academic Appeals Committee at Tattooine Tech.
Friends, I hate to say that I can top that.
I opened up the dreaded "Appointed Committee Assignment" sheet, and lo and behold, Professor S. Llamabutcher was placed on.....
Women and Gender Studies
To 2007, no less!
Insert jokes below (mind you, I teach at a women's college....)
Denial, of course.
(Rim shot).
Seriously folks, here's Blackfive with the serious analysis of where this is all going. And Sgt. Mom, with (as always) the proper perspective.
I love reading Sgt. Mom's stuff: she reminds me so much of one of the secretaries in our dean's office. If anything happened to her, the whole freakin' college would collapse like a Tilt-a-whirl with a rusted Jeebus nut in about the time it would take to drain a 7-11 slurpee (regular, not king-sized). This will be only of particular interest to regular reader Liz, who also works on the farm and knows who I'm talking about, but still. It's the Sgt. Mom's that have made America great since 1607. And don't let any wimmin's studies MLA po-mo humanities dillweed tell you otherwise.
About to be outed in Hollywood:
Adam Sandler.
Closet........Republican!
(SECRET MESSAGE ONLY FOR GORDON THE CRANKY NEO-CON: Great opportunity to come up with an all neo-con version of "The Hanukkah Song.")
[NOTE: THIS LINK FELL OFF THE BACK OF A SANDCRAWLER...]
UPDATE: Next time I go into photoshop I'm going to do a "MY OTHER SUV IS A SANDCRAWLER" bumpersticker.
Apparently Georgia is about to go to war with Russia.
Okay, I could understand if they were deciding to conquer those arsewipes in Alabama, but Russia.......
(Seriously folks, I'll be here in the Jungle Room Lounge all week--be sure to tip your waitresses)
UPDATE:
Other punch lines:
"Wow, I heard the ACC is expanding into the Big East, but not THAT far East...."
"Gee, I heard Zell Miller was one pissed of 'muther, but geez-louise!"
"Jimmah finally figured out CCCP stood for Carter's Crappy C-------er Peanuts"
"Buford Pusser is back, and this time he's REALLY mad!"
"It's all about the peanut OOOOOOOOIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!"
"Russia? Russia? He owes me money!"
Last, and probably least
"John Bell Hood could've kicked Napoleon's ass!"
"The Swift Vets Make Baby Jesus Cry"
Word of caution: this could be a Depends link.
Allahpundit raises an important point: blogger self-importance is in danger of getting out of hand with the whole Kerry-in-meltdown stuff. Let's not exactly start looking for places on the wall to mount the stuffed head quite yet.
Sheila, of course, weighs in in a related way: the top blogging words and phrases that she's sick and tired of:
blogosphere
hat tip
money quote
I'll have to go with her on the third---my hunch is that we owe that one to Andrew Sullivan, and of course it is derivative of "money shot," a genre word from the world of porn. Hat tip---where did that show up first? I'm not sure.
So, we're going to take the Sheila Challenge and avoid these phrases.
What blog jargon tweaks your template?
Are the Army's new helmets actually less effective? The sober and solid Phil Carter investigates. (And a belated thanks to Phil for the link to the below link, which I saw via Intel Dump).
Samantha Power's "Dying in Darfur" article in the the latest New Yorker.
Mother of God, it's Butt Paste. What else is there to say, really?
Apologetic Yips! to Jen.
Kathleen the Cake Eater has a brush with the Forces of Justice.
MWAAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA!!!! This is only the Beginning!
Bad news for you, Kathy. If you wish to avoid a midnight visit from the Black Helicopters, you must immediately do the following two things:
1. Confess - Confess, I say - that Emma Wodehouse beats Elizabeth Bennet.
2. Stop telling me to piss on my flowers. (I could perhaps let that one go if you would at least stop advocating that someone take pictures.)
You have been warned........
Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities has devised a hi-larious list of various illustrious bloggers and their likes and dislikes. Somehow or other, we Llamas managed to make the cut. We're extremely flattered. Yip! Yip!
My only criticism of the list is that there are waaaaay too many photos of She Who Has Been Booted From Our Blogroll. But hey - whatever rolls your cigar.
I must say that orientation at the DOJ is a bizarro combination of micromanagement and indifference. On the one hand, I'm not even allowed to set up my voicemail until after I've done some stupid seminar on Friday. (One wag in the office told me this was because we're wired into NORAD - pressing the wrong buttons on your phone might cause a world-wide nuclear strike.)
On the other hand, I practically had to hack my own computer just to figure out the damn default password for getting into the system. And then it was just assumed that I knew all about Outlook, WordPerfect and all the other goodies (which I do, fortunately).
Very strange.
However, I will just say this: I got my first assignment yesterday. Without going into detail, suffice to say it's a referred civil rights claim. My job is to analyse the record to date and determine whether or not the Department should go forward with further investigation and, eventually, file suit. I'll basically be handling the case as far as it goes. I've got more satisfaction out of the first couple hours reviewing the file than I did from years of filling out goddam FCC license applications.
That's worth a few Gov'mint quirks.