September 15, 2004

Behind enemy lines

It's official: New Jersey's 15 electoral votes are in play.

Posted by Steve at 11:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Howie Kurt leaves Dan the bottle of whiskey and the loaded revolver

In tomorrow's Washington Post:

"If the documents are not what we were led to believe, I'd like to break that story," Rather said in an interview last night. "Any time I'm wrong, I want to be right out front and say, 'Folks, this is what went wrong and how it went wrong.' "

Rather spoke after interviewing the secretary to Bush's former squadron commander, who told him that the memos attributed to her late boss are fake -- but that they reflect the commander's belief that Bush was receiving preferential treatment to escape some of his Guard commitments.

"I think this is very, very serious," said Bob Schieffer, CBS's chief Washington correspondent. "When Dan tells me these documents are not forgeries, I believe him. But somehow we've got to find a way to show people these documents are not forgeries." Some friends of Rather, whose contract runs until the end of 2006, are discussing whether he might be forced to make an early exit from CBS.

In her interview with Rather yesterday, Knox repeated her contention that the documents used by "60 Minutes" were bogus. Knox, 86, worked for Lt. Col. Jerry B. Killian while he supervised Bush's unit in the early 1970s.

"I know that I didn't type them," Knox said of the Killian memos. "However, the information in there is correct," she said, adding that Killian and the other officers would "snicker about what [Bush] was getting away with."

Rather said he was "relieved and pleased" by Knox's comments that the disputed memos reflected Killian's view of the favorable treatment that Bush received in the military unit. But he said, "I take very seriously her belief that the documents are not authentic." If Knox is right, Rather said, the public "won't hear about it from a spokesman. They'll learn it from me."

But he also delivered a message to "our journalistic competitors," including The Washington Post and rival networks: "Instead of asking President Bush and his staff questions about what is true and not true about the president's military service, they ask me questions: 'How do you know this and that about the documents?' "

The former secretary, Marian Carr Knox, is the latest person to raise questions about the "60 Minutes" story, which Rather and top CBS officials still defend while vowing to investigate mounting questions about whether the 30-year-old documents used in the story were part of a hoax. Their shift in tone yesterday came as GOP critics as well as some media commentators demanded that the story be retracted and suggested that Rather should step down.

"This is not about me," Rather said before anchoring last night's newscast. "I recognize that those who didn't want the information out and tried to discredit the story are trying to make it about me, and I accept that."

Posted by Steve at 11:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pardon me while I have a scooby-doo moment...

I keep waiting for Dan Rather, being carried away in cuffs, to blurt out angrily "Would've gotten away with it weren't for those meddlin' kids!"

Posted by Steve at 11:15 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Coming this fall to CBS: CSI: BLOGISTAN

csi blogistan.jpg

The roles cast so far for CSI: Blogistan are:

The integrity of CBS..................................the corpse
Powerline.................................................Chief Inspector Gil Grissom
Instapundit...............................................Captain Brass
LGF..........................................................Nick Stokes
INDC Bill..................................................Sarah Sidle
Ace of Spades..........................................Warwick Brown
My Pet Jawa.............................................Greg Sanders
Politburo Diktat......................................The Sheriff
Wizbang..................................................Dr. Robbins, the one legged coroner.

What, no Allahpundit? But of course, the role of Allahpundit on CSI: Blogistan is played by none other than the scrumptious Marg Helgenberger.

And your Llamas?.....................................Ruprecht the Monkey Boy

What character do you play on CSI: Blogistan? Let us know in the comments or by email, and I'll post the link back to you.

UPDATE: Bill's pissed that he, and I quote, "has no balls"; Allah is elated, as is Rusty.

Grandma Deece....................................Highway patrol cop #3 (recurring non-speaking role, turned into a major character in season 4)

Posted by Steve at 11:11 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

Hold On, Mr. President!

Dan Rather to George Dubya: Answer the Questions.

We Llamas have a couple questions too:

- Yes or no, Mr. President, have you stopped beating your wife?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that you were nowhere in the vicinity when Baby Bear's oatmeal was stolen and his chair was broken?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that you haven't sold out the Human Race to the Cylons?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that you never ate all the Cracklin' Oat Bran?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that you didn't steal Fuzzy Lifting Water?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that you were not behind the Grassy Knoll?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that all you need is love?

- Can you prove, Mr. President, that it wasn't you who made a yummy sound?

We didn't think so.

We're with you, Dan!

UPDATE: And remember, Allah likes your style!

Posted by Robert at 04:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Busted





Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?
quiz.

Carol Burnett voice: I've been hurt a lot.

There were three major social divisions in my old high school: the band geeks, the jocks and the waste-o's. There also were a couple of smaller cliques - the drama crowd and so forth. Then there were the odds and sods like me who floated around in the middle, never really attaching to any of them. Just never really clicked. But my home life was perfectly stable, thank you.

Yips! to LDH. Geek!

Posted by Robert at 04:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Speakin' Of Markin' Yer Calanders, Ye Dogs...

Be not forgettin' that Sunday, September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Arrrrrr.

As it happens, meself will be startin' as a mentor to a young scalliwag of a Confirmation Class student at me Church. Arr, methinks I'll have ta keelhaul the puppy.

Posted by Robert at 03:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mark it on your calendar

October 25.
Nine days before the election and right at the end of the World Series.
Let's party this year!

Posted by Steve at 03:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Is this Right?

Attention Coloradons Coloradoites Coloradomians? Citizens of Colorado!

James Joyner notes a wire story about John Elway appearing at a recent Bush rally. Watch that guy - he may be your senator down the road.

But what struck me as odd were some poll numbers that James cites indicating Colorado is a closely contested race this year. Now I don't pretend to know the first thing about Colorado politics, but it strikes me as rather unlikely that Kerry could pull it off. Any thoughts from all y'all out there? (I'm not doubting James, I just wonder if the poll numbers accurately reflect the state of things.)

UPDATE: Never mind.

Posted by Robert at 01:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Darth Estrich's Plan Backfires

One word: heh.

And considering the source, that's a might big "heh," indeed.

Posted by Steve at 01:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Because I Can...

kerryimg.png

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the Kerry Sloganator. If you've never tried it before, go on over and have some fun!

YIPS from Steve:

Here's my entry:

kerryimg.php.png

Posted by Robert at 12:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Battle Stations

CBS supposedly is going to issue some kind of statement at noon on RatherGate.

Let's keep phasers locked but get ready a boarding party just in case they're surrendering.

UPDATE: Well, it's just about 1:00 PM EST and either I'm blind or they still haven't signalled. Stand by.....

FURTHER UPDATE: Kerry Spot says CBS is now focusing on Killian's 86 year old former secretary. You know, the one who's already said the memos were fakes? What's Rather going to do, poke her with the soft cushions?

MORE: One of Glenn's readers suggests CBS is stalling around so they can, er, finish faking the new fakes to cover the old fakes. This reminds me of that Bloom County strip from way back where Milo is stalling the press while Opus frantically copies out fake Elvis diaries.

EVEN MORE: There is a feeling developing as we wait for the CBS announcement (now scheduled for 3:30), that it is going to take the it-doesn't-matter-that-the-memos-were-fake-because-Bush-is-still-an-AWOL-scumbag approach. I certainly hope they don't a) because I think they should face up to the music and b) because I really want to see this.

MORE: Sumbitch! Drudge is saying it's not coming out til 5:00 PM now. I give up.

Posted by Robert at 10:38 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Getting to "No"

My real-world pal Sparky is in a rage over a recent Newsweek article about the "problems" modern parents are facing in trying to set limits for their children.

Count me in as a fellow-rager. Sparky and I don't see absolutely eye-to-eye on the matter of raising children. (I believe in asserting more academic and social control than she does. My response to the kid who'd rather go surfing than study for his SAT's would be that once he's a grown-up he can spend his life on the beach if he wants but in the meantime it's my job to see that he gets as good an education as possible so that he can reach for higher things if he later wants to.) But I heartily agree with her disgust over this pablum of justification, selfishness, guilt, whining and groupthink.

From the article, it's abundantly clear that the problem is with the parents, not the kids. These are the Boomers, after all, a generation (WARNING: gratuitous overgeneralization approaching) for whom I have a great deal of contempt. Having rejected their own parents' family values and child-rearing techniques, they simply haven't the faintest idea what to do themselves when trying to factor children into their narcissistic worldview. Hence the pig's breakfast they're making of their responsibilities to their own kids and their panicky summons of therapists and other "experts" to provide them a way out. God give me strength.

Sparky is right. Saying "no" really isn't that difficult. (In fact, one of my well-worn Dad phrases is "What part of 'no' are you having trouble understanding?") You simply need to be enough of an adult to sit down with yourself and do some honest thinking about what is truly best for your child over the long run (hint: it ain't keeping up with the neighbors or making sure that you're the kid's "buddy") and then commit yourself to keeping your eye on these long-term goals despite all the distractions around you. In other words, grow up.

Posted by Robert at 10:22 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

Step Away From the Speeder With Your Hands In The Air

Tainted Bill has got a rap sheet as long as your arm against George Lucas for his latest round of tinkering with the original Star Wars movies.

Get a rope.

Posted by Robert at 08:46 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

You're Fired!

As a matter of general principle, once I start reading a book I try to see it through to the end, even if it turns out not to be all that great.

Well, my friends, after days of struggling with it, I've determined that James Fenimore Cooper's The Wing and Wing is one of those books that does not deserve this courtesy. I happen to be of Scots Presbyterian ancestry, so I am resigned to the idea that Mankind is doomed to soofer in this life, but Hoots and Toots, Mon! The thing can go too far, ye ken?

Of all the pompous, self-satisfied, long-winded bloviators I've come across, Cooper easily makes the varsity. Sixty pages in and he's still futzing around with the opening scene and setting up his plot. And this in what is supposed to be an adventure story, fer cryin' out loud. After having dozed off reading W & W on the Metro for the third day in a row yesterday, I decided it was high time to yank him from the line-up.

So who gets the coveted Metro-book spot in his place? Ha! Someone who knew how to write a gripping story. Someone who knew how to say in five words what it took Cooper fifty to say even though English wasn't his native language. And furthermore, someone who had something worthwhile to say about the human condition instead of swanking around over his own goddam ego and erudition. I refer to none other than Joseph Conrad. I've read several of his books, most recently The Secret Agent, but I've never read Lord Jim . Seeing that I wanted to keep to a sea-going theme, this seemed like the perfect opportunity. So Conrad's Lord Jim it is.


Posted by Robert at 08:24 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Going after Wisconsin's 10 Electoral Votes

John Kerry: tell the crowd of Cheeseheads how excited you are to visit Lambert field.

Dick Cheney:"I thought after John Kerry's visit here I'd visit Lambert Field," Cheney told a crowd at a Republican fundraising dinner Thursday night. Then he went in for the kill. "The next thing is he'll be convinced Vince Lombardi is a foreign leader."

The Washington Post opines:

Still, it might take more than the Kennedy mystique to put the "Lambert" moment behind Kerry -- a moment Kerry aides call a slip of the tongue. The Bush campaign is planning to rehash the comment until Election Day as a way of portraying Kerry as detached from the beer-drinking, bratwurst-eating folks of Wisconsin. College Republicans in Madison, where Kerry will visit Wednesday, are planning to greet him with a new sign: "It's Lambeau, Stupid!"

"He tries [too] hard to fit in with Wisconsinites, and he fumbles every time," said Jennifer Millerwise, a Bush campaign spokeswoman. "He should stick to windsurfing analogies -- only problem for Senator Kerry is that most people watch the Packers on Sunday."

This strategy is not confined to Cheeseland either. Republicans poked fun of Kerry for talking about the Buckeyes (of Ohio State University) while visiting arch rival Michigan (home of the Wolverines). These seemingly innocuous digs fit into a larger Bush-Cheney plan of fashioning the president as a common man and Kerry as a pandering patrician.

Posted by Steve at 12:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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